Okay wow...this is looking like I have been living off of pasta raviolis! This is what we have in the house. I plan on making Chicken tomorrow :] believe me! haha Tonight I was making dinner for me and my brother * parents are still out of town * he is pretty supportive & enjoys what I've been making.
MMM ravioli & veggie blend on the side :} I added one regular egg in the veggies for something extra.
There were six raviolis there and I had a guilt free extra helping of the veggies.
I havn't gone for my walk yet, today feels so lazy and slow.I don't know what I did all day.There is still time to walk for at least 10-15 minutes.
I need to get to the gym tomorrow, no matter what! or I'll feel pretty bad.
Goodnight
-Wallflower
Friday, June 24, 2011
Ravioli String beans & lettuce salad!mmm I wish the only thing I wish I had fresh string beans instead of canned :P.
I went to the gym for a few hours today & worked on my cardio & arms.
TV Time! I love TLC & STYLE
Recently there has been a significant focus on plus size.I came home & my mom says "Hey! want to watch Extreme Makeover with me!?" I say sure since I love watching shows like that where you make over someones house for them! I was surprised & later found out she meant Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. I had no idea that was even a show. It's absolutely not reality where everyone can take off that much time to dedicate towards such hard work outs.The people in the show are being compensated for the time they are on the show, allowing them to put forth so much effort & an amazing outcome!
There are always going to be people who don't agree but I really think this show is a great inspiration , for anybody * trying to lose any amount of weight.
There are so many other shows putting up these kinds of shows. I'm seeing these shows coming out for a reason though, people are watching these shows. For different reasons? sure. curiosity,inspiration...
I'm watching TLC Say Yes to the Dress BIG BLISS.
Oh! & Randy is adorable! :}
If you aren't familiar with Project Life size on Youtube* I was watching one of Gretchen's videos where she was talking about she would like to see Big Bliss be one show with the regular Say Yes to the Dress. I know what she means, however I can see there is this new culture of Plus size & I can see why they would label these shows.
I would absolutely say this channel was a big contributor to me starting to accept myself & go on my way to really wanting to help myself get healthy FOR ME.
This second week has been great ! & at the same time I'd like to get the feeling of high motivation that I had my first week. I just need to keep telling myself and really believing it's all up to me.
This was my 2nd week weigh in at Weight Watchers & I lost 4 pounds this week! Everyone is so supportive & I'm really proud of myself! So far it's a total of 10 pounds lost :]
Keeping everything tasting great &really being satisfied is super important. Personally I've been buying a lot of onions and mushrooms & using them wherever & how ever I can.I've always loved mushrooms and onions are an automatic plus for many foods.
I'm not scared of getting bored of these foods because it is not all I'm eating 24/7 & I fel good about it.there are so many great ways to prepare foods in a healthy tasty way & THAT IS FUN.
I want pizza so badly! I want to find a really great way to build a guilt free pizza for myself - I'll work on that. maybe it will have some mushroom & onions! :}
Oh.. & I am just very scared of cheese.* I'm thinking that's the big issue with pizza. I really don't mind giving up the bread part , the cheese is a huge killer for me.I can't get past the idea of eating cheese maybe it's a good think but any amount I'm refusing since I've started.Maybe I don't trust myself.
I didn't get to the gym today.I was seeing my parents off on a trip. I did however have time for a refreshing walk around the neighborhood.I timed it & it's roughly about 12-5 depending on how horribly humid it is!
For what it's worth.... it will be harder for me to get to the gym this week now that I have less convenient transportation.For a week it will be a little difficult but these is no excuse for not walking! & some is better than none in this case.
It was my brother's birthday the other day & this is an occasion where we go out to eat & enjoy our nights worry free! Sounds great, right?
I was just worried about finding something i could honestly order & feel sincerely good about what I order for myself. We ended up choosing Outback Steak House because my brother is a big steak eater! Loves it :] Anyways there were absolutely choices for me where I could order something I could sincerely walk home feeling I made the right choices.
The Norwegian Salmon plate with a side of veggies!
This was pretty delicious, I left feeling very good about my choice and also very satisfied.
Wow, I doubted myself so much! I honestly was prepared for the worst , especially when it feels like nothing is that different. I feel so much better and am much more hopeful. At this Weight Watchers meeting I hear that this first week is usually the easiest?* easier to loose a significant amount of weight -more than the usual 1-2 pounds a week* This wasn't said to me personally but to the crowd in general.
Oh yeah! the good news!!!!!!! I lost 6 pounds this week! :] I can't stop smiling. It feels good knowing after hard work something good comes from it all. I don't think it would be right to expect these results week after week.I'm not going to debbie down the heck out of this though.
My ipod is coming soon! I'm expecting it tomorrow "by the end of the day" Thank you UPS :] I look forward to seeing you at my doorstep. I had my ipod classic for at least 5 years now no problems. Just recently the headphone jack got a little messed up.Now one side you can't hear anything from & no it's not the headphones! I bought a few pairs before I realized it was actually my ipod.{super crazy denial!} or just crazy slow. I'll go with denial. I bought a shuffle for $44.00 AFTER I purchased it I realized I could have looked more and gotten another brand mp3 player for that price.I'll try the shuffle though!
Also! I've had a water revelation.I'm going to admit that I was drinking sodas,and juices & that's about it. I don;t remember the last time I had a glass full of water before this week started...YEAH seriously horrible. I've changed all of that & I'm not looking back!
Today was great! I'm excited to get back to the gym again tomorrow. * I went today also & worked on my arms & cardio :]
The Bitter {I have a lot of time to think while I'm working out & the main theme of these wondering thoughts have been my 1st weigh in. I know very very well that the fat wont disappear like magic *pooff! gone! But the thought of walking in thursday *tomorrow* & maybe weighing more or the same? I think it would really hurt these positive feelings I've been keeping up.The devastating part of this would be I am sincerely trying! I've never actually dedicated myself this much. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of something I shouldn't be over thinking.I have not been weighing myself in the gym for the reason I do NOT want to over obsess.
{I was having a hard time dealing with an issue involving somebody else in my life, no specifics. not important for the blog..
More sweet { I was able to spend more time on a machine I was having trouble on before! I talked to someone at the Y & they helped me figure out the issue, at first I was only able to go for less than a minute! haha that's pretty horrible! & to think I was watching everyone else go on this machine * called the arc? anyways they were on there for a while.I watched to see what I was doing wrong, it turns out the resistance was very high & I just needed to lower it.
uhh duh @ me :} silly.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrows 1st weigh in.I also know to set a more realistic goal for myself :] 1-2 lb's a week.
I have another goal to start working on :] SLEEP
I'll end my night on a more sweet note! I saw Enchanted was on Tonight :] This is such an adorable scene/song.
The weather was pretty horrible this afternoon. There were weather watches later into the night as well. When I know I'm not going to the Y I make plans to walk for about 20 minutes close to home. That didn't happen. I will be going to the Y tomorrow.
Since i've been out and about more now, there was so much I was missing. Appreciating the outdoors and nature in general *not that I didn't before,but now I ca actually EXPERIENCE it for myself.
This morning I was at somebody's house where they had an amazing butterfly garden.It was amazing how many butterflies there were! I would love to start a garden & as a matter of fact I bought some seeds to start planting last month & later researched the flowers I wanted to plant were poisonous! I don't think I can handle that, we have very curious dogs at home.
I remember one was called Foxglove.They looked so lovely! I was super excited until I did my research :{
Maybe I'll plant them in the front yard? It's totally separated from the back..
Tonight's Dinner! I woke up super exhausted from waking up so early & the rain *ugh today was a slow lazy afternoon. My parents were eating & made me a baked potato :} Since I didn't want sour cream I stir fried some onions and mushrooms! quick fix!
But wait... why was I still hungry afterwards I drank & ate.. it's not as if I didn't have enough, the potato was a decent size. Maybe I'm missing something? I waited just to see if I would feel full a little later.
Going to bed a little confused :P + Oh! going to the Y tomorrow!
Taken from our backyard.. I couldn't help but snap a picture
Today I came in and was introduced to a very nice women who manages the area I was working out in. I was shown new equipment/ machines & worked on my upper body/ arms along with cardio. WOW I walked away feeling great!The 1st time I worked out I mentioned already I was very sore when I woke up the next day.Also on my 1st day I walked away from each machine feeling "jelly legged". Today was not totally the same & I can already tell my muscles are getting used to actually MOVING & WORKING...what a concept!
I wanted to talk about the atmosphere at the Y.It's not what I had expected! when I walked in the 1st thing I noticed was the variety age & shapes. I know.. it was pretty silly of me to think everybody at a gym would be really buff & young. Instead I felt very comfortable with everyone else around me working for the same thing as I am now *just maybe at another level*
Excuse me If Iam being gross but I need to find a better deodorant! I haven't had this problem since grade school. I found what was working for me & that was supposed to be the end of that issue! My 1st day working out I realized my deodorant totally failed me :[ yeah...I bought one for today & it didn't work as well as i'd hoped.
I'll keep my secret for when I'm not going to work out. I think I'll have to go to the mens section? haha I really don't know.
Back to me not being gross! :]
NowI hope I'm not alone in this.. but when I was talking to the women who manages that work out area she asked me a few questions along the lines of why are you here & what do you want to accomplish?
I do not talk to people about how I feel usually & when I do I sometimes might get a little teary when doing so.Touchy subjects? I don't know.. I'm pretty shy & don't talk to people much in general.It's happened when I've talked to counselors *who I was talking to when I was in high school for various reasons* I've flat out cried when I was talking to a doctor.
It's safe to say I've gotten much better with the "emotional-build-up-awkward-crying-to-strangers" bit. But sometimes you just feel your emotions build up and everything feels very sensitive at that point. right?
WELL! I did not cry...& at this point I sound like a big baby writing this.(I don't want to end on that bad pun..)
We do have a very nearby Farmer's Markets here & they were giving out reusable shopping bags at the entrance.We walked out of that Market with a full bag of goodies!
This is the bag they were giving out we used it twice that day. This was my "day of second times" since it was actually my second time going to this local farmers market. I was on the look-out for one booth in particular. I had a sample of their fruit & veggie juice last time & I wish I had bought some last time so i'd know who they were & where I could get more. All I know is it had corn in it *that stood out for me* :] maybe next time! I'll keep looking of course.
Tonight's dinner!
Super delicious tacos Nothing extraordinary about them. pretty simple Boca meatless meat? Red peppers, green peppers, onions,lettuce ,cherry tomatoes & cheese for everyone else in my family :]
Final product! I really need to find a better substitute for the taco shell we were using...
Hmm low fat sour cream just isn't the same :{ haha I'll get over it
There's also cantaloupe for dessert - no pictures - BUT guess where it came from :}
This summer I came home from College knowing I was in a bad place, health wise. Even before my parents approached me separately (I had been having long conversations with myself knowing this needs to stop NOW). When my parents came to me separately I didn’t feel the usual “Oh god, here it comes…why did I even come home!?” – instead motivated to really take care of myself. Before when I had been approached *since this has been an issue for sooo long* I wasn’t ready to face how severely overweight I've become & was very spiteful when my parents would approach me.
One reason I was spiteful & what really helped me (other than me really facing my issues) was my parent told me, now that I’m home they will give me the tools I need to get this ball rolling. The tools I’ve taken hold of are:
Signing up for Weight Watchers
& Joining the local YMCA
This is my 1st week only 3 days into the Weight Watchers Program. I weighed in at 320 ( I am 5’’7’’ & 22 years old) Also, definitely the biggest I’ve ever been & hopefully ever will be.
NOBODY BUT MY MOM & my Dr. KNOWS THAT!! O: – not anymore- But I feel like putting it out here will help me really get over the facts & on my way to really helping myself change it.
& I also made my 1st visit to the YMCA Gym. I stayed for an hour & also met with a trainer that was extremely helpful since this was my 1st time in a gym.
This being my 1st time in a gym, I had no idea how to use any of the equipment, so this trainer was very helpful for showing me the different machines. WHOA let me just say! Some of these machines I could only stay on for a few minutes, but I moved around & ended on the treadmill.
This was all two days ago! I am still sore tonight but I think I can go back tomorrow & get back in the game. * I still went on my daily walks when I was letting my soreness go away a bit *
Being in college I was sharing my dorm with 3 other girls whom I’ve known for three years now. In that time I had observed they each had very different life styles & eating habits ( as three separate people WOULD have…haha duh).
Anyways my point is I felt like I had an excuse to eat whatever I felt like, no matter what it as. At some point I did try very held to eat as well as I could. I sincerely don’t even know what happened to that. I was just fooling myself & that is what really hurts.
I also feel like there are so many things I have kept myself back from doing & THAT is just even more motivation to really commit to this.
My point ISNT that I can‘t do these things without losing weight but it would probably be a lot easier if I was more fit at least. Because right now… I am far from.
I don’t know why I gave up on myself so totally but I am done hurting myself & I feel even more committed putting this out here.
On a last note! For dinner a few days ago we had everything we needed to make Kabobs! They were fun, easy to make & just so good.
