I saw this on instagram & thought it looked like a cool idea... Just need some almonds!
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I wrote an draft entry last night while watching extreme weigh loss! :( I don't see the draft anywhere on my phone app? Anyways... I guess I'll be writing and posting this all at one time.
I had a few things I kind of was having issues with this past week.
I stayed over a friends house and made it a long weekend since this person lives so far away.
There have been several times where I come over for the weekend and my friend has pretty much 'double booked'. The situation has turned out to my staying at her family's house babysitting the dogs while they go out for 1.) dinner with her family ( whom I've known since I was in 2nd grade, we are 24 now). 2.) to a dinner ball ((((ate you kidding me?!)
It was awesome watching the family get dressed and ready to leave me home with their dogs. Both times I had no ore warning or heads up... If I had.. U probably wouldn't have gone that weekend.
I know most people would think... Wow why don't you say anything?! If you guys have been friends so long why don't you say something?
I wonder the same thing, I end up feeling so shitty after spending time with this person. They make me feel so insignificant as a friend.
This journey has actually helped me appreciate myself as a person more. I feel I'm worth more and my time should be spent around time that actually appreciate me.
I could almost blame myself for not saying anything previously in these situations.. I never even showed that it bothered me previously. I was just so shy and my self-esteem was so low.
I'm happy to say I don't feel I deserve to be treated like that at all.
This past weekend I find myself reluctantly going over this friends house. I have very mixed feeling about it but in the end I decide, why it? I m sure this weekend will be fine.
My friend "Alice" wanted me to meet somebody , lets call her "Carol". Carol is this older women she met recently and has been spending a lot of time with.
Carol is very sweet and I'm always glad to meet new friends young or old, it's all good. But pretty much what happened was just kind of crazy...
"Alice" and I had gone to pickup "carol". Carol wanted to change before going to dinner, since she is pretty much 65 and expressed wanting to get more comfortable we drove back to carols place for her to change. She also may have expressed being a bit slower. That's fine, I've always been very patient.
Alice and I wait downstairs in the car for an hour and a half for carol to change. At that point I just thought it was cute and kinda funny how long it took to get changed. Alice said she knew it would take long... But Alice and I had some time to talk in the car while carol was changing. ( but mostly just seemed like a good time for Alice to check her phone and text) another not so fun thing that happens often.
Anywho-
We went to a nice little Italian place carol said shed like to go to. I'm always open.. I honestly just wanted the cheapest thing I could get, my bank app wasn't working on my phone:) yay. Haha a slice of pizza was $2.00. I ate slow because my friends Alice and carol got meals and I am used to sitting and talking for a long time before, during and after dinner. BUT--We sat there pretty much till everyone was gone and the place was close to closing. At this point I'm seeing carol has been THE only one talking, nonstop. She's talented, I've never met anyone who could seamlessly talk for so many hours.
Then we decided to walk around a bit. We went to a shopping center that is open at night for clubs and bars. We walked around and found a place to sit. I think we actually sat there at around
10 pm. Can I just say we were sitting with this women for 5 hours. Can I also just say carol was talking nonstop for that many hours. At 1st I was attentive to listen to someone's stories and hear her share some of her life stories. I'm surprised I didn't get her social security number along with her family's. alright so now I'm getting mean... But seriously I don't think I can even accurately describe what those 5 hours on that bench were like.
No joke I feel like I was invisible and was watching Alice and carol on a romantic date. By the end I thought I'd just play on my phone. I NEVER. Ever EVER TAKE OUT MY PHONE TO TEXT , TALK much MUCH LESS TO PLAY A GAME. I did all of the above. Loudly... Rudely- sighs were made.... comon!!! This was at the 3 and a half hour mark... My patients was running very thin.
As I'm writing this I'm thinking maybe this doesn't sound like something I should be getting upset over. But who knows. After the night was through. Finally walking back to the car
at 2am.
Carol finally takes a break talking as we walk to the car.
I----- miles ahead (not actually) but I'm definitely not walking with the two....
Alice and carol try and talk to me as if I had just become un-invisible! Oh.... What?! Did my invisibility run out? Hu. ? Weird..
I pretty much ignore the Heck out of the two. I honestly have the hardest time showing people ( friends, not strangers!) I'm mad. But I think they got the clue. What bothers me is that they probably had no idea why.
Just to make this clear and for the sake of lists...
Why I'm mad and very confused about my friendship with "Alice":
Plans are supposed to be plans, I've been double booked several times with this person.
Every time I come home, I'm thankful to be back home.... But also come home just upset because I always feel like I was taken advantage of or just taken for granted.
There are other things that bother me just as much... But they get personal and more complain-y than this.... If that's even possible.
Since I've typed this with one finger I apologize for any weird words that may have snuck in here with spellcheck! Haha
Well that's the end for my friend issues... I guess this is me kinda working out my feelings by putting it all out there.
Not sure this is a good idea... But there are no names and I don't feel like I said anything that horrible... It's just what happened :/
Thanks - hope everyone is having a great week
Wallflower
