Rain Rain Go AWAY!

What Happened to Sunshine State!? 

The weather was pretty horrible this afternoon. There were weather watches later into the night as well.  When I know I'm not going to the Y I make plans to walk for about 20 minutes close to home. That didn't happen. I will be going to the Y tomorrow.

Since i've been out and about more now, there was so much I was missing. Appreciating the outdoors and nature in general *not that I didn't before,but now I ca actually EXPERIENCE it for myself.

This morning I was at somebody's house where they had an amazing butterfly garden.It was amazing how many butterflies there were! I would love to start a garden & as a matter of fact I bought some seeds to start planting last month & later researched the flowers I wanted to plant were poisonous! I don't think I can handle that, we have very curious dogs at home.

I remember one was called Foxglove.They looked so lovely! I was super excited until I did my research :{

Maybe I'll plant them in the front yard? It's totally separated from the back..

Tonight's Dinner! I woke up super exhausted from waking up so early & the rain *ugh today was a slow lazy afternoon. My parents were eating & made me a baked potato :} Since I didn't want sour cream I stir fried some onions and mushrooms! quick fix! 

But wait... why was I still hungry afterwards I drank & ate.. it's not as if I didn't have enough, the potato was a decent size. Maybe I'm missing something? I waited just to see if I would feel full a little later.

Going to bed a little confused :P + Oh! going to the Y tomorrow!

Goodnight!

-Wallflower

My 2nd day at the Y

   First of all, it was gorgeous out this afternoon! 

Taken from our backyard.. I couldn't help but snap a picture  

 Today I came in and was introduced to a very nice women who manages the area I was working out in. I was shown new equipment/ machines & worked on my upper body/ arms along with cardio. WOW I walked away feeling great!The 1st time I worked out I mentioned already I was very sore when I woke up the next day.Also on my 1st day I walked away from each machine feeling "jelly legged".
Today was not totally the same & I can already tell my muscles are getting used to actually MOVING & WORKING...what a concept!


I wanted to talk about the atmosphere at the Y.It's not what I had expected! when I walked in the 1st thing I noticed was the variety age & shapes. I know.. it was pretty silly of me to think everybody at a gym would be really buff & young. Instead I felt very comfortable with everyone else around me working for the same thing as I am now *just maybe at another level*


Excuse me If Iam being gross but I need to find a better deodorant!
I haven't had this problem since grade school. I found what was working for me & that was supposed to be the end of that issue! My 1st day working out I realized my deodorant totally failed me :[ yeah...I bought one for today & it didn't work as well as i'd hoped.

I'll keep my secret for when I'm not going to work out.
I think I'll have to go to the mens section? haha I really don't know.


Back to me not being gross! :]


NowI hope I'm not alone in this..
but when I was talking to the women who manages that work out area she asked me a few questions along the lines of why are you here & what do you want to accomplish?


I do not talk to people about how I feel usually & when I do I sometimes might get a little teary when doing so.Touchy subjects? I don't know.. I'm pretty shy & don't talk to people much in general.It's happened when I've talked to counselors *who I was talking to when I was in high school for various reasons* I've flat out cried when I was talking to a doctor.


It's safe to say I've gotten much better with the "emotional-build-up-awkward-crying-to-strangers" bit. But sometimes you just feel your emotions build up and everything feels very sensitive at that point. right?


WELL! I did not cry...& at this point I sound like a big baby writing this.(I don't want to end on that bad pun..)


We do have a very nearby Farmer's Markets here & they were giving out reusable shopping bags at the entrance.We walked out of that Market with a full bag of goodies!

This is the bag they were giving out we used it twice that day. This was my "day of second times" since it was actually my second time going to this local farmers market. I was on the look-out for one booth in particular. 
I had a sample of their fruit & veggie juice last time & I wish I had bought some last time so i'd know who they were & where I could get more. All I know is it had corn in it *that stood out for me* :] maybe next time! I'll keep looking of course.


Tonight's dinner!


Super delicious tacos 
Nothing extraordinary about them. pretty simple Boca meatless meat?
Red peppers, green peppers, onions,lettuce ,cherry tomatoes & cheese for everyone else in my family  :] 

Final product! I really need to find a better substitute for the taco shell we were using...

Hmm low fat sour cream just isn't the same :{ haha I'll get over it

There's also cantaloupe for dessert - no pictures - BUT guess where it came from :}

Today was pretty great overall

Goodnight!

-Wallflower

The start of something good

This summer I came home from College knowing I was in a bad place, health wise. Even before my parents approached me separately (I had been having long conversations with myself knowing this needs to stop NOW).  
 When my parents came to me separately I didn’t feel the usual “Oh god, here it comes…why did I even come home!?” – instead motivated to really take care of myself. Before when I had been approached *since this has been an issue for sooo long*  I wasn’t ready to face how severely overweight I've become & was very spiteful when my parents would approach me.

One reason I was spiteful & what really helped me (other than me really facing my issues) was my parent told me, now that I’m home they will give me the tools I need to get this ball rolling. The tools I’ve taken hold of are:

Signing up for Weight Watchers

& Joining the local YMCA

This is my 1^st week only 3 days into the Weight Watchers Program. I weighed in at 320 ( I am 5’’7’’ & 22 years old)  Also, definitely the biggest I’ve ever been & hopefully ever will be.

NOBODY BUT MY MOM & my Dr. KNOWS THAT!! O: – not anymore- But I feel like putting it out here will help me really get over the facts & on my way to really helping myself change it.

& I also made my 1^st visit to the YMCA Gym. I stayed for an hour  & also met with a trainer that was extremely helpful since this was my 1^st time in a gym.

This being my 1^st time in a gym, I had no idea how to use any of the equipment, so this trainer was very helpful for showing me the different machines. WHOA let me just say! Some of these machines I could only stay on for a few minutes, but I moved around  & ended on the treadmill.

This was all two days ago! I am still sore tonight but I think I can go back tomorrow & get back in the game. * I still went on my daily walks when I was letting my soreness go away a bit *

Being in college I was sharing my dorm with 3 other girls whom I’ve known for three years now. In that time I had observed they each had very different life styles  & eating habits ( as three separate people WOULD have…haha duh).

Anyways my point is I felt like I had an excuse to eat whatever I felt like, no matter what it as. At some point I did try very held to eat as well as I could. I sincerely don’t even know what happened to that. I was just fooling myself & that is what really hurts.

I also feel like there are so many things I have kept myself back from doing & THAT is just even more motivation to really commit to this.

My point ISNT that I can‘t do these things without losing weight but it would probably be a lot easier if I was more fit at least. Because right now… I am far from.

 I don’t know why I gave up on myself so totally but I am done hurting myself & I feel even more committed putting this out here.


On a last note!
For dinner a few days ago  we had everything we needed to make Kabobs! They were fun, easy to make & just so good.

mmmm

Chicken,onions,cherry tomatoes,green pepper &Pineapple

I tried to add some mushrooms but they broke every time I tried to get them on the skewers!

Goodnight! 2nd day at the gym coming right up :]

-Wallflower